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| lancelotlinc |
 Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:59 am Post subject: ISO8583: "Quick, you guys start coding..." |
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Jedi Knight
Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Posts: 4941
Location: Bloomington, IL USA
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In response to a recent post, I would like to relay a "legacy" humourous story ("old joke").
In the olden days of computerization, say 1980s, when they still called computer departments Management Information Systems, the sole MIS people in an entire Fortune 500 company were four: a manager, and three developers.
Since there were no production applications in production yet, there were no production support staff. Just a manager and three RPG developers.
The Vice President of Accounting called down to the MIS Manager's office on the rotary dial phone, and said: "Mr. MIS Manager, I have a new application I want your department to write for me. Please come to my office and I will tell you what it is that I want."
The MIS Manager got very excited! A NEW application! He could hardly believe it. As he hung up the rotary dial phone, he turned to his staff of three dedicated RPG programmers and said: "Quick, you guys start coding, I'll go see what she wants."
Gives new meaning to the phrase, cart before the horse. Before someone can create a new ISO8583 banking application with Message Broker, don't you think it would be wise to develop some basic criteria upon which to make design decisions?
So easy, a Caveman can do it.
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| Gaya3 |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:30 am Post subject: |
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Jedi
Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 2493
Location: Boston, US
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its nice...
Mods: please move this to general discussion area
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Gayathri
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Do Something Before you Die |
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| Vitor |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:52 am Post subject: |
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Grand High Poobah
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 26093
Location: Texas, USA
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Moved, and I think the same sentiment was immortalised in a cartoon once; we had it on the notice board back in those golden days.
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Honesty is the best policy.
Insanity is the best defence. |
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| fatherjack |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:13 am Post subject: Re: ISO8583: "Quick, you guys start coding..." |
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Knight
Joined: 14 Apr 2010
Posts: 522
Location: Craggy Island
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| lancelotlinc wrote: |
| In the olden days of computerization, say 1980s, when they still called computer departments Management Information Systems |
And before that Data Processing. But I guess DP is part of an entirely different industry now. 
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Never let the facts get in the way of a good theory. |
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| mqjeff |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:36 am Post subject: |
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Grand Master
Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 17447
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Let's not go too far down the road towards an endless trail of "Why, when *I* were a lad just starting in computing, we had to punch the paper ourselves!" stories.
you had paper? luxury! |
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| exerk |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:05 am Post subject: |
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Jedi Council
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Posts: 6339
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We had t' chisel characters on slates, and Stonehenge were a 10Megalith upgrade gone wrong...
read it in a thick Yorkshire accent
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| lancelotlinc |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:51 am Post subject: |
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Jedi Knight
Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Posts: 4941
Location: Bloomington, IL USA
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Three RPG developers walk into a bar. The bartender says, "May I help you?"
The first RPG developer says, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No I aint got no grapes, this is a bar."
The second RPG developer says, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "I already told you, we dont have no grapes. If you guys ask that again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."
The third RPG developer says, "Got any nails?" The bartender says "NO!". Developer says, "Great, got any grapes?"
Cromaggerons can do anything.
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| bruce2359 |
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 1:53 pm Post subject: |
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Poobah
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 9469
Location: US: west coast, almost. Otherwise, enroute.
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My first computer job was before computers. The sign on the door said "Tabulating." Inside were keypunch (is this singular and plural?), 402 or 407 Accounting Machines, reproducer gang-punch thingies. Very noisy.
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Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi, Lex Vivendi. As we Worship, So we Believe, So we Live. |
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| Gaya3 |
| Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 4:55 am Post subject: |
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Jedi
Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 2493
Location: Boston, US
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| bruce2359 wrote: |
| My first computer job was before computers. The sign on the door said "Tabulating." Inside were keypunch (is this singular and plural?), 402 or 407 Accounting Machines, reproducer gang-punch thingies. Very noisy. |
when was it..which year...? 
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Gayathri
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| bruce2359 |
| Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 5:25 am Post subject: |
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Poobah
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 9469
Location: US: west coast, almost. Otherwise, enroute.
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mid-1960's... when dynosaurs roamed the earth. 
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I like deadlines. I like to wave as they pass by.
ב''ה
Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi, Lex Vivendi. As we Worship, So we Believe, So we Live. |
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| lancelotlinc |
| Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:30 am Post subject: |
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Jedi Knight
Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Posts: 4941
Location: Bloomington, IL USA
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Three RPG programmers are stuck on a boat, the boat springs a leak. First one says, "you two guys start bailing, I'll write a program to figure out how fast we have to bail."
Second RPG programmer says, "Ok, how will we know when to stop?"
Third RPG programmer says, "I know, we'll just plug 9999 in the Julian date field to tell us when we are done."
First RPG programmer says, "That's a great idea, we'll for sure have to replace the code before September 9, 1999."
"Now you know the rest of the story, good day." - Paul Harvey Rest In Peace
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| lancelotlinc |
| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:10 am Post subject: |
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Jedi Knight
Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Posts: 4941
Location: Bloomington, IL USA
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Three RPG programmers were stuck in a box. First RPG programmer says, "How did we get in here?"
Second RPG programmer says, "I was bored, so I sent an email to Uncle William, and he sent me this box. On the outside, it said GW-Basic. I thought I would climb in here and try my hand at this new kind of Basic. But all I keep getting are these silly Out-of-Memory errors. Who would of thought I would need more than 640k of memory?"
Third RPG programmer says, "You didn't read the fine print. GW stands for Gates William. Uncle William is so vain! Here's what he put in the fine print:
'Limit 640k, no one would need more than that. If you do, re-write your code. All your base our ares.'"
"What choo talkin' 'bout Willis?!?" Gary Coleman Rest In Peace
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| mqjeff |
| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:30 am Post subject: |
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Grand Master
Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 17447
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Did you hear about the RPG Programmer found dead in the shower?
He was clutching a shampoo bottle that said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat". |
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| RogerLacroix |
| Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:15 am Post subject: |
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Jedi Knight
Joined: 15 May 2001
Posts: 3264
Location: London, ON Canada
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How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem.  |
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| Gaya3 |
| Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 7:54 am Post subject: |
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Jedi
Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 2493
Location: Boston, US
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| mqjeff wrote: |
Did you hear about the RPG Programmer found dead in the shower?
He was clutching a shampoo bottle that said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat". |
No...No..i cant believe this...
We're still waiting for the next incident(s) from RPG programmers....Please post it again....
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Gayathri
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Do Something Before you Die |
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